Israeli Tea Party

Are you kidding me?  An Israeli Tea Party rallying against Barack… Obama?!  Outrageous.  Not because of the politics, though.  Have you ever had Israeli tea?  Tastes like the Dead Sea.  Not good.  Not at all good.

Maybe they could be the mint lemonade party?

Harry Reid

So Harry Reid is fixing an election in the desert?  Well, it’s not admirable… but it does have some precedent.  I remember a certain white-haired leader who handed out pre-engraved electoral tablets.  Moshe, I’m looking at you!

Honor thy father and legalize thy marijuana?

Oprah honing in

Last month, we chided the Queen of All Media for her continued insistence on dispatching audiences to the four corners of the earth — and warned her to stay clear of the promised land.

So what did she do?

The Oprah honed in on the holy of holy lands — the Daily Show studio audience. And if that weren’t enough, she’s flying them to what was supposed to be Jon Stewart’s rally. That’s right, once again, a black person has co-opted a Jewish movement with all her media money.

Can’t we all just get along?

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Oprah honing in, posted with vodpod

 

Christine O’Donnell

I’m not an expert on politics.  I can’t fathom the upper-level strategy involved in breaking into a hotel or beating up hippies on the streets of Chicago.  But this meshugga tea-leaf lady made an ad where she denies that she’s a witch?  Not a great precedent.

What’s Barbara Boxer’s denial going to sound like?  I do not run the media?  I don’t use baby’s blood for matzoh?  Maybe she’ll have to issue a clarification — innocent baby’s blood.  Slippery slope here, folks.

Rahm Emanuel

Have you ever danced with Rahm by the pale moonlight?

So the most powerful Jew in the White House since ever is thinking about ditching out so he can run for mayor of the most twisty, insular, haplessly corrupt city in the nation?

If that’s not self-ghettoizing, I don’t know what is.

Gaza commerce

I don’t see how building a luxury mall in Gaza can come to good.

Sure, our cousins can now go to the Genius Bar when their iPhones act up, but think about how they haggle over land when there’s nothing on it.  When they have to divvy up Armani and Neiman Marcus, there’s gonna be some real tsuris.

Who's Neiman and is he single?

Michael Steele

Has anyone else noticed that the gaffe-prone leader is the Tim Whatley of the GOP?  I think he joined the Republicans just “for the jokes.”

Actually, this may go back farther — I’m pretty sure he went black “for the jokes.”

A Jew, a Protestant, and a black Republican walk into a bar...

Robert Byrd

It's just like a John Grisham novel!

Today is the first day of Elena Kagan’s confirmation hearings — and she has to share the headlines with Byrd, the longest serving senator in our nation’s history.

And an evil, anti-Semitic genius.

Even in death, the one-time KKK member had to stick it to the Jews.

Madrid

In an act of political protest, a Madrid gay pride march has banned Israelis.  What, with a Castillian accent, they can’t tell the difference between “flotilla” and “faygelah“?

Now, those are some real curlies.

The death of marriage

I’m not much of a fan of the Gores. They crusade against things I love — litter and explicit lyrics — and do it in the most sanctimonious, soul-numbing fashion.  But at least they traveled as a unit and I could dismiss them as a pair.  Now with their surprising split-up, they are going to be annoying me independently.

So believable at the time...