Tag Archives: New York Times

Nevada whiners

The New York Times — and a bunch of Vegas locals — are complaining about smoking… in casinos.  Have they no decency?!

Vegas is our last bastion of legalized bad behavior.  Prostitution, fiscal irresponsibility, Penn and Teller — it’s where we go to escape a rule-filled world.

Next thing you know they’re going to campaign against the day trip Jews get to murder dead ringers of the Munich Olympic terrorists.

That's all right, bubbeh, keep smoking -- you earned it.

The New York Times

So the Paper of Record now features tales of a “frequent flier” who tells us things like it’s a bad idea to use in-flight wi-fi to view porn, airports help justify Hermes ties, and Shabbat starts on Friday not Thursday.

Not how my airport column would go.

Were The Gray Lady asking me, I’d try to tell you useful things that save you money, like: “Never volunteer to check your bag, no matter how oversized it is.  They’ll make you check it at the gate — for free.”

Or that save you tsuris, like: “Don’t worry about eating the on-board overpriced meal.  Yes, it will make you fortzy — but no one can hear over the engine noise.”

Now this makes sense to me

Students who go to med school without being pre-med


No one told us about this!

I could have skipped all that organic chemistry mishegas and still gone to med school?  Does anyone want to buy my butcher shop?  I need tuition money!

I sincerely hope he didn't learn anatomy in art history...

Carlos Slim

The Mexican Billionaire who bought a huge chunk of The New York Times is now gobbling up Manhattan real estate — including the gorgeous $40m townhouse across from the Met — the only townhouse left on Fifth Avenue.

I didn’t mind so much seeing The Times’ building decked out in Purple Day of the Dead statues — that’s in midtown.  But now we’re talking the UES.  A little more taste and a little less kitsch, please.

Is this what H&H Bagels is going to look like next?

NYT Trend: Arrested Development

Wait, so adulthood not starting at 21 is now considered a trend by The New York Times?  That’s an insult to us Jewish mothers who have spent years ensuring that adulthood never starts for our children.

Cloudy with a chance of shpilkes

NYTimes on Gadgets

So in its effort to whine its way into competition with Andy Rooney, the Times is complaining about people being too hooked on gadgets to pay attention to their families.

Which is just how I like it.

Ever since I bought my mother an iPad, she’s been too busy looking at pictures of other people’s children to tell me how to raise mine.

Hey -- look at Deb's kids -- they got her nose. Her real nose!

Island-Stealing Journalists

Uh, oh.  Looks like the NYT is trying to buy back the island of Manhattan from the Jews.  Knowing how diet-obsessed all these middle-aged Yids are, they’re trying to tempt them with fire water.  We all know how it goes from here….

Mommy's new weight loss plan

New York Times to the rescue

It’s good to know you have your priorities straight, New York Times.

In these times — when men with wives and children lose their houses for missing a payment — Hashem forbid a 27-year-old lawyer making $160k (plus benefits and bonus) need to spend his own money on designers for the apartment his parents bought for him.

Way to stand up for the little guy, NYT.  I think I just threw up in my kugel.

The house that Big Law couldn't build

The New York Times

I know I’m a sucker for living in Manhattan.  I know everyone else in this enormous country has a palace with enough room for a runway, whereas I have a studio so small that Kevin Smith would be deemed a “safety risk.”  Still, New York Times, do you have to rub it my punim with your “What You Get For…” real estate column?

This is not what Woody Allen promised me!