Tag Archives: movie

The Karate Kid reboot

So The Karate Kid is the number one movie in America — and features no karate.  It’s really the kung-fu kid.

Once you’ve crossed that bridge, why not actually reinvent the film with some ferocious Hebrew-style fighting. The Krav-Maga Kid — now that I would have paid a shekel or two to see.

Nothing like some good old Jew-jitsu

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Sex and the City 2

Since when does a nice Jewish girl have to go to Abu Dhabi meet an old flame? Normally all you need to do is wait until you catch him lighting a Yahrzeit candle, offer him some Kleenex and kugel, and you’re in.

Costumed Heroes

So now it’s cool to be a regular guy who thinks like, dresses like, acts like a superhero?

Apparently zero-to-hero films like Kick-Ass have been inspiring comic geeks to dress up like Spiderman and catch criminals.

So why hasn’t Curb Your Enthusiasm (episode 19) encouraged more Jews to dress up like Larry David and break up baptisms?

Don't worry, here comes Super-Yid!

Sandra Bullock

Listen, Sandra, we didn’t actually think you were a Nazi just because you married a guy who seems to be one and has an obsession with them.

You certainly didn’t need to adopt a midget version of your Blind Slide co-star to drive the point home.

Does she think she's holding up her Razzie?

Jack Kevorkian

Thanks to that Al Pacino movie, Jack Kevorkian is back preaching about killing old people.  Listen up, Dr. Death, I’m taking every last breath I can — if only to suck oxygen away from that chaleria next door at the alter kocker home.  Hey, Mrs. Lowenthal, my grandkids love me, too, they’re just no so gauche about it.

When you want to off yourself, hoo-ah you gonna call?

Oscars Ruining Marriages

Amidst the dissolution of Sandra Bullock’s marriage, there’s been a lot of speculation about an Oscar curse.  The upshot: Oscars ruin marriages.

I couldn’t agree more.  Oscar ruined my marriage, too.  I was always more of a Hebrew National guy — the ex liked Oscar Meyer.  Sad when you think about it.  But, then again, we should have both seen it coming.

My divorce has a first name -- it's O-S-C-A-R

Johnny Depp

When he stole Keith Richards’ shtick for Pirates, he gave the man credit.  Well, we’ve seen Alice in Wonderland and what’s Jackie Mason — chopped liver?  Until Johnny Depp gives Jackie some love, we have to say he’s strictly a goniff .

You know what the difference between Jews and Jabberwocks is...