Harry Reid

So Harry Reid is fixing an election in the desert?  Well, it’s not admirable… but it does have some precedent.  I remember a certain white-haired leader who handed out pre-engraved electoral tablets.  Moshe, I’m looking at you!

Honor thy father and legalize thy marijuana?

Oprah

So, apparently Oprah told her rapturous followers yesterday that she was going to take them all to Australia.  Listen, Oprah, I know what you’re thinking — it’s the end of the era, time to take everyone to the desert holy land.

But when we did it, O, it was without an air-conditioned plane.  Don’t think you can compete.

Oprah is not going to Australia to hit on Nicole Kidman. Again.

Oceans

Used to be, it would take Moses to get you to part.   These days, seems like you’ll spread for any dude with a beard and a calling.

Not righteous, oceans.  Not righteous.

He says he's gonna put what in where?