Tag Archives: money

Who’s Giving Us a Bad Name This Week: Matty Beckerman

Beckerman is a Hollywood producer — not that there’s anything wrong with that.  And as all we know, Hollywood producers like money — not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But Beckerman’s film company is funded by Muammar Qaddafi’s son, who is reportedly happy to be in bed with a Jew.

I guess it’s a win-win.  But I haven’t seen the latest markets — what’s the Hollywood-to-terrorist cred exchange rate?

Qaddafi with the star of Big Top Pee Wee

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The Iranian-Jewish “Madoff”

Weekend at Bernie's II

Why do we have to be so good with money?  It just makes people throw more at us, and apparently, that’s tempting.

Who’s Giving Us a Good Name This Week: Bill Gates and Warren Buffett

So the country’s two richest men have formed a secret cabal to discuss how to divide the nation’s wealth.  But for once, a vast left wing conspiracy isn’t Jewish!

And how could it be?  Only two Goys — a folksy Midwesterner and a college dropout — would want to give away $600 billion.

Too bad they didn’t grow up working in my dad’s tailor shop — that would have taught them the value of money.  Mordecai didn’t even give you a pervy in-seem adjustment for free.

Just regular (billionaire) folks at a diner. Nothing to see here.

California’s Bankruptcy Dance

In case you missed it, California is broke.  All together now: How broke is it?  So broke that sales tax is 10%, 300 courts have been shut down, and soon the state may stop fixing sidewalks.

I guess that almost makes sense.  I mean, who walks in LA?  It’s the same logic I used when deciding not to fix my botched circumcision.

Use caution? I can't -- I respect her too much.

Who’s Giving Us a Bad Name This Week: Sholom Rubashkin

Let’s look at the evidence against Mr. Rubashkin, a Kosher slaughterhouse manager in Iowa recently convicted of 86 federal financial crimes:

  1. He’s a Kosher slaughterhouse manager in Iowa. Believe you me, we understand trying to exploit an under-served market.  But if you need to turn to crime to make a living, you may have misjudged the demand in the first place.
  2. A large number of lawyers are rallying to his side. Since he hasn’t been involved in a slip-and-fall accident, this is a sure sign he’s going to hell.
  3. He’s trading on his autistic son for sympathy. Only marginally better than trading him for a New York strip.

Saying "sholom" to freedom

Jews Who Can’t Take a Joke

By now you’ve probably heard that Obama’s National Security Adviser, James Jones, told a Jewish merchant joke at a think tank.  The Anti-Defamation League weighed in — they weren’t such a fan — and James apologized.

Nobody seems to care that the joke was funny.  Poorly delivered, stretched out, lacking in detail — sure.  But funny.  And even depicting Jews as clever if financially opportunistic (which, you know, we are).

If Jones wasn’t an anti-Semite, maybe we just made him one.

The New $100

It used to be a $100 bill was green.  Not green with hints of orange.  Not green with a bronze bell, a blue strip, and a hideous hologram.  Green.  One glance at that verdigris, and you knew were looking at American money, but this new thing looks like a Euro.  Us moneylenders are just going to get confused…

The bill (features on top above the old bill) features a variety of new security measures, including a blue "3-D Security Ribbon" that features tiny Liberty Bells.

Usury used to be sexy