Tag Archives: Brooklyn

Possums

Brooklyn is now overrun with scary miniature mutant kangaroos — which were deliberately introduced in order to control the rat population.  Mission not accomplished.

This is worse than when borough officials introduced hipsters in order to control the minority population.

Look at that effing marsupial

Trayf of the Week: “Traif”

Williamsburg, Brooklyn — ground-zero in the battle of Old vs. New World annoyance — has given birth to the third rail of Heeby fressing: a new restaurant called “Traif.”

Ordinarily, we’d be up in arms… but we converted to Southern Baptist the moment we saw the strawberry-cinnamon glazed pork ribs on the menu.

If you're going to eat the pig, why make it so cute?

Mumps

Last month, when my Uncle Herschel complained about orchitis (swelling in the proverbial matzoh balls), I thought he was just bragging.  Now that I know there’s been a mumps outbreak in Brooklyn, I’m thinking I should maybe take him to a specialist.

Sorry, Uncle Herschel

Jersey Shore

You call a bunch of Guidos making out in a hot tub entertainment?  Tsk tsk tsk.   How about Crown Heights?  More black hat than bikini, but what you lose in sex appeal, you more than make up with in awkwardness, pogroms, and race riots.

Crown Heights

What do you mean by "you people"?