Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Israeli Tea Party

Are you kidding me?  An Israeli Tea Party rallying against Barack… Obama?!  Outrageous.  Not because of the politics, though.  Have you ever had Israeli tea?  Tastes like the Dead Sea.  Not good.  Not at all good.

Maybe they could be the mint lemonade party?

People

A supposedly shocking new Time poll says that 25% of Americans think Obama is Muslim — and another 25% refused to answer/were unsure — meaning they also think Obama is Muslim but believe it’s wrong to even say the word Muslim to a pollster.  So half.  Half the country thinks Obama’s Muslim.

Which is ridiculous.  Obama goes to seder, has a rabbi for a relative, and is clearly afraid of Palestinians.  He’s a Jew.

Putting it all in perspective

Warning Labels

I’m all for political correctness.   We have a black President and, at least once a day, I mention I voted for him.  But can we draw the line at defacing history with disclaimers? 

One publisher doesn’t think so. They’ve taken to slapping warning labels on the Declaration of Independence… to let us know that it “does not reflect the same values as it would if it were written today.”

Can you imagine the warning label they’d put on the Talmud?  Or the Talmud that would be written today?  “Let me quote the book of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2, Episode 7…”

Jews Who Can’t Take a Joke

By now you’ve probably heard that Obama’s National Security Adviser, James Jones, told a Jewish merchant joke at a think tank.  The Anti-Defamation League weighed in — they weren’t such a fan — and James apologized.

Nobody seems to care that the joke was funny.  Poorly delivered, stretched out, lacking in detail — sure.  But funny.  And even depicting Jews as clever if financially opportunistic (which, you know, we are).

If Jones wasn’t an anti-Semite, maybe we just made him one.

Obama’s Seder

We stole your music, your chicken, your Sammy Davis, Jr.  — but can’t you let us keep this one holiday?

Now when the youngest child asks: “Ma nishtanah?”  I got nothing.

"...boreh pre ha-health care."

Joe Biden

The first official U.S. visit to Israel since your election, and who do you send to talk about peace?  Joe Biden, your embarrassing weirdo chauffeur?

You know what, you’re right.  Peace talks aren’t delicate.  We look forward to Biden ceding Cleveland to the Gaza strip.

It's all good. Russia's new ambassador to the U.S. is Yakov Smirnoff

The government

If you’re in Washington, D.C. today and thought you saw Rahm Emanuel go whooshing past on a toboggan… you’re probably right.  Seems the federal government has taken a snow day!

I’m not saying this government is soft, I’m just saying when my uncle Herschel had his haberdashery, neither snow, nor pogrom, nor genocide, nor the original Tiffany mall tour kept him from opening shop.

Daddy will push you as soon as he gets off the flying saucer