So in its effort to whine its way into competition with Andy Rooney, the Times is complaining about people being too hooked on gadgets to pay attention to their families.
Which is just how I like it.
Ever since I bought my mother an iPad, she’s been too busy looking at pictures of other people’s children to tell me how to raise mine.
Hey -- look at Deb's kids -- they got her nose. Her real nose!
Israel has banned the iPad… because it’s a security threat. Really? If I were banning dangerous things in Israel, I’d start with Birthright. Who thinks it’s a good idea to invite horny teenagers and twentysomethings to the Holy Land?
If we had a TV channel — ya know, consisting of annoying reality shows we’d never watch but would be happy to profit off of — we’d launch Birthright. It would air between Jersey Shore and Brighton Beach.
Maybe it was the new "Yasser Arafat is Sexy" app
The Islam of iPads
So in the wake of the iPad, now HP, Google, and even Microsoft will be getting into the tablet business.
Jews are hardly surprised. Like Apple, we know what it’s like to be the first to the top of the mount — and then watch as others release bargain-basement, less user friendly versions.
Personal computers, mp3 players, monotheism — it’s all the same.
So some pasty-faced Apple employee is slandering Richard Belzer. Sorry, just don’t believe he choked some geeky girl in a teal t-shirt. More likely: She saw the L&O star’s terrific stand-up routine and made a play for his Special Victim Unit.
A man named Job should have a little misfortune — so why does everything go right for this guy? He invented the personal computer, the digital movie player, the smart phone, the working tablet — he even had his hand in those lovely Pixar movies that teach you to respect old things (cars, toys people). Wait, apparently he’s deathly ill? Okay, now we’re back on Biblical script…
Steve Jobs ... or Spock