Children’s toys

In this holiday season, we must be vigilant against all terrorist encroachments.  Especially when they come wrapped in pretty packages.

Yesterday Israel shot down a “suspicious” balloon. These are the worst kind — because they’re also the best kind.  What might be inside?  A bomb?  A camera?  Confetti?  We may never know — but we’ll be ready for what’s next.

Nutcrackers, I’m looking at you.  Especially if you’re riding on a horse.

A Trojan horse.

Public enemy #1

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Who’s Giving Us a Bad Name This Week: Sharks

It's okay to eat some bottom-feeders, as long as you get the big game, too

Egyptian shores have been devastated  by a vicious series of shark attacks.  And who’s to blame?  That’s right — the Jews.  Or, at least, secret Mossad-trained sharks.  But who could have told Egypt?  Hmm…

Sharks, I’m looking at you!

Clearly these narcing Sharks have never watched Munich — otherwise they’d know better than to mess with Mossad.

Santa Claus Firing

A Macy’s Santa Claus lost his job for telling a not-even-really naughty joke to an elderly couple of lapsitters.

This could never happen at a Chanukah party — and not just because of the whole Santa Claus thing.

Jews pay good money to hear dirty jokes.  And to sit on laps.

He plays Santa Claus and Lazar Wolf

Who’s Giving Us a Bad Name This Week: Faigy Grossman

No, this isn’t about her name.

Faigy ripped off Dance Dance Revolution with a video game for Orthodox to boogie down.

Just what we need during the holidays: Gyrating Hasidim telling Goys they got served.

Look, ma, shpilkus!

Suggested by MWS

Trayf of the Week: Cuddly Bacon Toys

The trayf tempters keep getting smarter, trying now not just to win the stomachs but the hearts of our youngsters.

Just look at that smiley self-confident shnook — he’s the care-free Goy we deep-down wish we could be!

Censorship

Two Bay Area Burger King employees were fired for a bit of workplace honesty — replacing the hollow “thank you” on drive-thru receipts with the more genuine “fuck you.”

Reminds me of all those Thanksgiving dinners when I’d bring home a new girlfriend.  She’d invariably tell my mother: “What a lovely home you have” — and rather than say “thank you,” ma would just reply, “You’re not good enough for my son.”

Okay, so it’s not identical, but…

I wonder what "supersize" came with...

Prince William media frenzy

Prince Harry’s getting married! OMG!

Why are Americans so obsessed with the British royal family?  We have our own princesses right here on Long Island.

Sure she's cute and hooked a prince... but does she have Prada?

Suggested by MP