Russians

As you can see, honeymoon sex was really his only shot...

Communism may be dead, but Russia keeps finding new ways to muck up the best things in life. Case in point: What’s the best part of marriage? The honeymoon — and the afterglow known as the honeymoon phase.

Well, cosmonaut Alexei Sitev is gonna skip that with 18 months of… a simulated trip to Mars.

When he comes back — not only won’t he have actually gone anywhere — but you can rest assured his beloved geek trophies will be moved out and his mother-in-law moved in.

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